Who are we?
We all have our own unique personalities, formed from genes. Another large part to play in who we are, our levels of confidence and self-esteem are early childhood experiences. Attachments with caregivers is incredibly important. The extended family and finally the community all contribute to who we are and how we see ourselves.
There are of course more complex situations and experiences that play many parts.
As we grow up we base our worth through the response of care givers, this creates our self-esteem. We quickly learn what is right and wrong what will be rewarded and what won’t be but more importantly we form perceptions of how people behave, if they are safe or dangerous and also whether we are likeable or not. All this fills awareness in our unconscious mind which means it is separated from our conscious thinking mind and comes about in habits, emotional function and physical issues which you would know as anxiety, drinking, drugs, driven, obsessive or healthy, fun, calm, functional, caring. Thinking styles are formed and beliefs too.
We can make sense of how we behave in relationships when we get a clear, coherent picture of the past. The past formed beliefs and the present day filters those beliefs through our perspective affecting how we are and who we are and what we do. The key is in finding those unconscious beliefs and then changing them, most will not be relevant to the present day.
The list of symptoms that stem from childhood experiences or later experiences continues as phobias, weight issues, sleep problems I hope you get the gist!
We can also experience issues due to something known as epi-genetics which is when a disturbing experience alters the Neuro- programming of someone in our generation and is then subsequently passed on. An example of this would be someone surviving a famine and forming neurons in the brain, that makes you hold onto weight for survival and then those neutrons get passed on, leaving someone wondering why on earth they can’t lose weight no matter what they do.
So in short our states of mind change dependent on many different experiences and genetics, thus forming our personality traits. Don’t worry, if you are not happy with a part of yourself, you can change. Its like brain gym, exercising areas you are not happy with.